An odd thing happened the other day: I realized I was happy with the way I look. Not that I think I m perfect, but that I am ok with not being perfect.
I am a clothes-horse, as one dear friend put it. I love clothes, I love jewelry, I love shoes, I love fashion and I am rather fanatical about making sure the clothes I wear show me to the best advantage. Nothing tight to show off the flab, drapey tops to hide my belly, etc. But now I have been grabbing clothes out of the closet that a year ago I wouldn’t have worn and been completely unself-conscious while wearing them.
Because I finally feel like I look like a normal person. I don’t look thin, I don’t look fat, I just look like a regular woman walking around. Over the years, my size has changed quite a bit. I definitely felt the “freshman 15” in college, and went up to a 12 or 14 (don’t forget I am only 5′ tall, that made me a bit too round). For one magical year in my 20’s I was a size 4. That didn’t last long.
And even when I was a 4, I obsessed over my “pot” belly. Genetics will out. Now I just figure it’s part of my body and since I have firmed my abs and lost a few pounds, I can live with it: even though I am a size 10 (or 8, depending on the cut) and not a 4. My body seems to have adjusted in the last year of continuous conditioning and found the shape it wants to be.
First: thanks to you guys, because my “continuous conditioning” had much to do with being accountable to my blog to workout, and workout with quality exercises. And all the feedback I got from my Weekly Rundown posts kept me moving.
I am not sure if my body has really reached a good size, or if I am in a better mindset since I feel so strong from all the running and weight training. Or maybe a combination of both? Whatever, I will take it! Too bad it took 45 years to come to this place. But at least I found it. Now I just need to stay here 🙂